Jersey #9: Kentucky's Journey

Some days (not today because I'm feeling pretty optimistic) when that alarm goes off at 5:30am and I drag myself off of my shatty couch, I'm not the happiest of campers. I wipe the sleep from my eyes and the ice from my windshield, and then navigate the deserted streets toward the UNI wellness & rec center, all the while shivering and constantly reminding myself of how much warmer I would be had I not left Kentucky to better my rugby career. When I finally get into the building and give the workers at the desk my card to swipe, there is about an 85% chance that one of them will find something wrong with my Student ID and question whether or not I'm allowed to go in. It must be so obvious in their minds that everyday I wake up before dawn and deviously dress entirely in UNI Rugby attire, grab my *fake* student ID, and with a bag full of plyo cones and a rugby ball prepare to cause trouble at the rec - I mean, seriously. If I'm lucky, I convince them of my pure intentions (either that or fill out no less than 2 "official documents") and am permitted to pass. Once on the basketball courts I proceed to do the running/plyo part of my workout, all the while battling the occassional soccer girls doing some ridiculous workout involving kicking a medicine ball around the perimeter of the court. Eventually, I finish up and head upstairs to the free weight room that will be closing to "non-athletes" sometime in the next hour, so I have to hurry. Despite this being the only time of day that I am able to use both the basketball courts and the free weight room within the same time frame (thus waking at 5:30), you can imagine how demoralizing it is to open the door and find an entire team of wrestlers, softball players, or basketball players taking up every possible rack and platform in the place. As I struggle to work around them and get in all the hang cleans, front squats, and chin-ups required for the day, I'm always amused to overhear some of the conversations going on around me. Some complain of being too tired, others talk about how wasted they got the night before, still others are begging their strength coach to, "take it easy today". Not that I've never been guilty of asking a coach for a let-up, or that I'm not tired in the morning, it just always serves to remind me that unlike these athletes, I don't have to be there. No one will cut my playing time if I skip today's workout or take away my non-existant scholarship money. No one checks to see if I'm getting stronger or if I've been eating right or if I'm getting any faster. No one forces me to contstantly watch films and analyze my mistakes in order to improve my performance...

No one, that is, but me.

For all the flaws of being a highly competitive rugby player - the incoveniences, the lack of support, the lack of money - there is something deeply satisfying about knowing you did it yourself. Call me crazy, but there is some type of high I get everytime I complete a week's worth of workouts that no one "made" me do; everytime I sneak into the "athlete" basketball gyms to practice my scrumhalf passing against the wall for an hour; everytime I politely decline an invite to a night of boozing...And everytime I forget why it's worth it, I look at those jerseys hanging on my wall and remember all the experiences and priviledges my sacrifices have afforded me...and I don't regret a second.

I may be tired, stressed, poor, and sometimes even a litter bitter, but in the end I believe that what does not kill us does indeed make us stronger. I started as a 115 lb shrimp of a scrumhalf who somehow Kamikaze tackled her way to U19 National Team tryouts, and from there I've never looked back. I'm still not the most naturally gifted athlete in the world, but I've built myself into a person I can be proud of, and I have rugby to thank for that.

Not too long ago, I was searching through Latin quotes that Roman soldiers and gladiators used thousands of years ago for inspiration, and I came upon one that I felt really described who I strive to be as a player and a person, and thought others might find it inspirational as well. The quote:

CONCUSSUS SURGO

or in English, "When struck, I rise". Hmmm....maybe it's time for a new tattoo ;)