Jersey #9: Kentucky's Journey

So. As it turns out, rugby doesn't pay money, it actually COSTS money.

I know, shocking right?

Also, I am told that regardless of money issues, it's not healthy to have only one hobby/focus/obsession in life. But then again, I think that's basically the nature of obsession, that it is obsessive, so really how could you have more than one? And if you did, wouldn't that get exhausting, to be obsessed with a number of obsessions? Anyways....I digress...

As it stands today I have a job that pays the bills because my parents are nice enough to give it to me. It means that I can set my own training times and sit my 'tocks on the couch all day punching numbers into a database, and indulge myself in the Michael Phelps diet. Sounds great, eh? Great except that 99.999% of the time I feel completely worthless. As such, I am prompted to ask myself - what do I want to do?

What things to do I like? What am I good at? What would I like to be? Where would I like to go? How do I picture myself in 5 years? yada yada yada...

Problem is, I have pretty much zero answers for any of these questions. For instance, what do I like......ummm, rugby? being outdoors? my dog?

What am I good at? In the past I would probably have answered that I have a mean scrumhalf pass, but these days I am told that even that is only middle of the road so...there ya go. I am also an excellent bullshitter, but only on paper, and have a talent for writing precocious literary critiques on books which I have not actually read, do not actually like, and could not care less about. Let's just say my "talents" don't lend themselves to many careers.

And the rest of the questions??? What would I like to be? no idea....Where would I like to go?? Anywhere but wherever I am seems to be the answer most of the time. And how do I picture myself in 5 years??? Wow...uh...sitting on my couch...still asking these questions, actually. How depressing........


No idea where this post is going except to say that I would like to know where I am going and if anyone knows how to f'ing get there. How does anyone decide what they want to do? Are there people who are seriously interested in the classes they take? Does anyone really enjoy their job?? Are some people actually happy???

These are the things I must know....because my answers are slightly miserable...

So it's 11:30pm and I should be in bed. I have been browsing the web for no possible reason except that apparently in the 10 hours I was online earlier today while working I didn't get enough retinal burn from the screen and had to come back for a second bout. At any rate, I decided to run across the blogosphere see what was going on in the big world when I remembered, "oh yes, I have a blog".

Indeed I do. And upon further inspection I have found it to be filled with obsessive workouts, eating plans, weird poems from when I was working toward my worthless degree, grumpy ramblings about my various places of residence, and the occasional "life ain't so bad" speech.

Oh. and rugby. I guess I talk about that sometimes, too.

As such, I suppose I should segway into the blog title change. Maybe I will change my mind tomorrow, but as of tonight, staring up at my cheery little "Kentucky's Journey" title I kind of wanted to puke on myself. As it turns out I am pretty freaking cynical, and feel as though I am living a life of blogosphere deception through such a cheery and optimistic title. Anyone who knows me in real life is aware that I am simultaneously the worlds hugest pessimist and God's personal comic relief. As such, I believe my new title (which was also my senior year book quote) to be far more appropriate.


Hopefully it will spark me to post about stuff other than how many push ups my lazy ass did on such and such day, or whether or how many calories were in my carrot. We'll see.

Also...facebook changed so I thought I should join the movement. I am such a worthless follower.

Drinking the koolaid as we speak,

Tucky